It would be SO easy to just give up. Throw our hands up, pack up the little bit of belongs we have and scream WE ARE DONE. I mean, I’ve thought about it a couple times. But deep down, in my core….giving up has never been how I roll.
I still very much have a dream in my heart and walking away from it wouldn’t get me any closer to achieving it.
It’s been hard….yes it has…. but still I get glimpses throughout the day of things I’m incredibly thankful for.
Right now, we are all currently cramped inside a RV. It’s small and not luxurious but it does have the basics, a small shower, a toilet that tends to leak (thanks JAYCO, you might want to look into that) and a small refrigerator that I have to buy things for every other day.
The boys have their own bunk bed, Cruz sleeps on the (not super comfortable) sofa and Ericson and I are in the queen bed. There are so many things I could write about that I wish Jayco could change but let’s talk about the positive for a minute.
Cruz (who just turned three — what!!) likes to lay down every night and tell us goodnight about six times. He goes through every single one of us. “Goodnight Daddy”…..”Good night mama.” It may be the cutest thing EVER.
I realize that these are the things I’m going to remember when all this nightmare is ov-ahhh. The moments where the boys are getting along, discovering artifacts in the rocks the hit open, them giggling over the duck that got loose and can’t catch and watching the deer come at dusk to nibble on the grass.
So listen, I do have bad days. I have days where I have to put life in perspective and not feel bad for myself. I have to whisper things like “We can get through this” all the time…. because this dream is worth fighting for. Isn’t any dream?
You may not have a dream of having a farm or moving to the country…but your dream could easily be one that a lot of people battle with. Is it a marriage that needs help and feels to far gone to get back? I’ve been through that too and let me tell you…. it’s worth fighting for.
Have someone sick in the family that you just are having a super hard time keeping your head up for? Life is hard! But guess what? They are worth fighting for.
Don’t give up because someone said it was impossible to achieve or the diagnosis was too horrible to even imagine a good outcome….or you bought a moldy home that is in crazy need of major work.
We can do it! I believe in you and I need to believe in me too. In this dream, in everything we fought so hard for up to this point….
Because quitting would mean that I didn’t believe in the dream enough to make it happen.